The m word Part 1

by Steven Cudars
E veryone knows about the big three swear words, the f word, the s word and the highly offensive c word. To my mother their lives another word that must not be muttered around her, this is the m word.
There are many words that start with the letter m, marmalade, multiplication and Metallica to name just a few. To my mother there is only one m word. This word is Marquee. For those of you who are confused, yes, a Marquee is a big tent.
The origins of my mother offence with the m word is unknown.
Perhaps it was at a wedding in 2003 where after much rain, the ground of the Marquee became a quagmire, the dance floor as slippery as an icerink and the humidity of the hundred plus guest in close proximity resembled that of a nightclub.
Possibly the wedding mentioned above had nothing to do with my mothers detestation of the Marquee. Her feelings may go back to her camping experiences, as she is not a happy camper. Every time my mother goes camping the heavens open and it pours rain. I recall one time we went camping on the central coast, the four of us were in a tent sleeping on air mattresses, it rained so much that by the morning the airbeds were floating inside the tent (well maybe not, but we did get a lot of rain).
So I have painted a picture of my mother feelings towards the m word you can imagine her feelings when we described our plan for a 60ft Marquee for our wedding in Condo. We all laughed of mum fears of rain as Condobolin is in the grip of a great drought, their no chance of rain!

The m word Part 2